The St. Paul Area Chamber of Commerce is selling large tracts of land to the west of the city’s borders. While the news release doesn’t describe the exact location, it would appear the land falls west of the Mississippi River, and it’s big, though undefined.
“We are told that intelligent life exists, maybe even some lakes, but candidly, we honestly don’t know,” states Chamber President Matt Kramer in the release. “We can only hope that this westward expansion brings the civilized manners of St. Paul to this unknown frontier.”
Ha! Ouch! Burn! How’s that for a straight-to-the-jugular April Fool’s?
Here’s the release in its entirety:
SAINT PAUL AREA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
ANNOUNCES LAND RUSH DETAILS!(SAINT PAUL, MINN., APRIL 1, 2014) – Today the Chamber announced that, pursuant to the Homestead Act of 1862, the Chamber is opening large tracts of land to the west of Saint Paul for settlement. Land availability starts approximately at Highway 280 and proceeds west for some miles, although frankly we have no idea what actually exists over there.
Matt Kramer, President of the Saint Paul Area Chamber, explained that as the hippest and most romantic city in North America, most Saint Paulites have had little reason to explore the western frontier of the Twin Cities. “We are told that intelligent life exists, maybe even some lakes, but candidly, we honestly don’t know. We can only hope that this westward expansion brings the civilized manners of Saint Paul to this unknown frontier.”
Shouting “Claim!” or complaining about the “How I Met Your Mother” season finale shall be considered sufficient to establish land ownership.
About the Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce
The Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce is a vital, dynamic force serving the business community through the collective strength of its members. For more than 140 years, the Chamber has provided vibrant programs, powerful advocacy and results that foster member growth. With nearly 1,200 members, the SPACC is the largest local chamber in Minnesota.